Facebook Gets Tipsy
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Facebook Gets Tipsy

Posted by on Jul 6, 2011 in Brainless Blitz | 91 comments

By Ali Hassan, THE Waterloo Warrior

Creativity has always found a way to make itself stand out, and has scored once again, with the latest trends on everybody’s favorite social networking website, Facebook. We have all seen the time when fake profiles were en vogue and also when our daily gossip queens, the ‘Lucases’, kept us updated about the most recent news citywide. Then, there have also been the never-ending phases of the “fraaandshipers”, random people sending friend ship requests that sometimes go like…

The Frandshipper's tool

“If i say hi…….u may say whoz this…. if i ask for chat….u may say why??….
if i say i liked ur profile……u may say m flattering u…..
if i ask for frnship…….u may say m flirting……
so can u plz suggest me hw to start wid a new relation………????
contact: 03xx-xxxxxxx”

(to protect the source of such creativity I shall not disclose the number)

Likewise there is a ritual that is often believed to be the purpose of Facebook – stalking. If you haven’t stalked, you are too naïve to be on Facebook I’d say. Well, the latest trend that seems to have caught the fancy of thousands is the surge of the “Tips” pages. The initiative taken by Brotips (With over 92,000 likes), which could be taken as an adaptation of the Bro code (Barney anyone?), seems to have spread like yellow fever among the avid Facebook users with many  coming up with their own imitations of these tips, twisting them to their own scenarios and spicing them up “Desi” style to become an amusing read and maybe something even wise once in a while.    

Copies of the original Brotips include Lumstips, Lsetips, Aitchisoniantips, Grammariantips, KarachiTips, Lahoretips and to top matters off even hilarious ones like MailaTips, Pottytips, BurgerTips and KhusraTips.

The first four created by students primarily to brag about their institutions, more often than not, posting ‘Tips’ regarding various teachers, fellow classmates, canteen walas, breaking school/college rules… tips on how to maintain your repute in front of the opposite gender, how to flirt effectively, how to and not to act once inside the boundary of the institution, and usually sparking rivalry among themselves which then keeps mounting the interest of those who have liked these pages. Reading them has made me realize that it’s better to memorize these than going through the prospectus before going to any of these places.

Lumstip#21: Its cool to have a crush on a senior TA, but repeatedly visiting in office hours is a clear give away, Nahi?

LSEtip#32: Behind every successful assignment there is a Ctrl+c & Ctrl+v.

GrammarianTips#26: Being besties with the Canteen wala or the Security guard has its own benefits.

To give a few examples.

People seem to have made the most of this new found craze by adding their ingenuity to their recently exam free schedule to present to us with this amazing time pass. Along with scintillating competition, these pages have found a forum where people with similar tastes or backgrounds get together to post about some of their personal opinions.. It’s a rather frivolous way in which people can argue about their favorite eateries in town or discuss common interests as well as shun any possible rivals.

Lahoritip

This brings me to the absolutely hilarious Tips like MailaTips, LahoriTips, KarachiTips, BurgerTips, KhusraTips and PottyTips. Now these, my friends, are an entirely wild category of Tips. Take MailaTips for example that shed some light on how to act in public, what to eat and not to eat, what catchy pick-up line to have plastered to the back windshield of the car in dripping blood letters, who to and not to insult and how, when to speak in English and when to abandon the accent, advice on which Chinese mobiles are the best, to explaining why it is NOT okay for boys to take pouty pictures, to laugh raucously as a chick passes by, to adding the number of ‘X’s’ instead of the old fashioned Z to show the degree of coolness (The more the better, I’ve heard).

The BurgerTips on the other had are the exact opposite of the MailaTips, often citing stuff like:

BurgerTip#13: Speak in an accent or not at all.

BurgerTip#78: Bathe only with Body Shop products.

The KhusraTips are better left unwritten about, but I guess the name says it all.

Then comes the extremely popular LahoriTips and KarachiTips, though both the parties have mentioned that their Tips are just for fun, the general public often plays a hand in triggering a rift between the two. These however also give Tips from using the neighbor’s Wi-Fi, to how to deal with Mehandi’s in the vicinity late in the night, to learning to differentiate between acha-wala and sasta-wala China ka maal, to how it is a must to know Punjabi as well as the appropriate price to pay for a haircut:

Mailatip

Lahoritips #147:
Haircuts: 250 is the mark.
Something’s wrong if a boy pays more than that, or a girl pays less than that.

Some tips can even apply to our daily lives like I quote, “If you lend your maila friend something, don’t expect to see it again. Seriously, bhool jao ussay” –Mailatips# 142

Others are even funny like, “touching cheeks, is how we greet the opposite gender”-Burger Tips#4.

With such trends captivating us for quite a bit of time, one can safely way that it certainly is not going to be a boring summer especially when you have so much creativity to turn to provided our magnanimous leaders decide to spare us some electricity. I hope that such enthralling tips keep coming for nothing lightens up the atmosphere like a laugh shared.

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