Her Name is Khan and She’s Not a Journalist
Yes we are referring to the infamous Maya Khan, who, in a desperate TRP-quest, took it upon herself to ‘raid’ dates in parks and ended up doing more damage to herself than she could have imagined. No, this piece is not another moralistic analysis on Miss Khan herself, God knows we’ve had enough of those. (A personal recommendation would be to watch Osman Khalid Butt’s hilarious spoof of Miss Khan at her worst, if you haven’t already) This one’s about the issue she tried to deal with; the much talked-about, yet still misinterpreted, topic of romance. Let’s take a look at the lot out there these days and what our beloved Maya would have done had she been given a free reign:
a) The Bold and the Not So Beautiful: Being socially cautious is for the faint-hearted. So what if your neighbour’s friend’s dog sees you with your better half in a public place? For all they care, they’ll ward off all dangers as long as they have each other. These dazzlers are the only people who’ll even think of nestling close to each other in the scorching heat of July; a much needed source of entertainment for their own generation and a reason to scorn for the elderly. They not only share ice-creams but also an unprecedented obliviousness to their surroundings. For them, life holds endless possibilities for romance, and they make sure they flaunt it everywhere possible. If Khan were allowed to continue on her rampage, these innocent creatures would probably be extinct by now. Thankfully, she wasn’t.
b) Mr and Mrs. Smith: In a nutshell, these covert lovebirds are the complete opposite of the paraders of the previous category. Their lives are nothing short of the latest spy-flick you caught last week. From the most pragmatic excuses that will swindle them out of their houses to the safest places to meet-n-greet, they know it all. Their ways are rather unsuspecting; you need to be quite the craftsmen to spot these lads and lasses. And if by some miracle, you spot them and happen to recognise them because of some random friend you stalk at Facebook, just know that they’ll still be a move ahead of you. The moment you shift your gaze, evasive manoeuvres of the highest quality will dispense into action and you’ll never know where your targets fled to. Well, unless you are Maya Khan’s accomplice and decide to wildly chase the couple screaming “AAP KA NAAM” at the highest frequencies known to mankind.
c) In a galaxy far far away: Taking going-virtual to a whole new level, this couple is most tech savvy of them all, knowing all the little tips and tricks of connecting through electronic means. Well, one would have to, when meeting in person becomes an issue thanks to the vast distances that separate the two supposed lovers. The only people who do stand a minute chance of realising this couple’s situation are the most intricate Facebook stalkers who monitor every move their friends make. This being generally the most unusual of relationships, it is hence looked at most sceptically and scrutinized at every opportunity – to everyone’s delight! Now these are the people even miss Khan would never be able to catch.
Too good aatir. though you should have written it way before!
K.